I Heart NY

I woke up this morning to a rain soaked city covered in fall colored leaves strewn about the sidewalks and I realized that I just heart NY. Years ago on this day I got engaged on the top of the Empire State building. Today, hubbie and I will recreate moments of that engagement weekend by going to Chinatown, eating in Little Italy and going to the top of the Empire State Building but in the spirit of Halloween and unlike the original engagement weekend we will do it as zombies. And what is great about NY, no one will even give us a second look.

Who will save your soul?

Little did I know that as stepping onto the subway to Brooklyn, Jewel's probing question to society of who will save your soul would be answered. My soul was in fact saved by a lovely young woman on the C train. As I took that 30 minute ride she spouted such lines as, "even if you are a sinner, God will save you and I am his vessel put here to let you know the word of God." Who knew that God would put a vessel on the C train the same morning I had to take the train to Brooklyn? So I can now cross that off my life to do list, save soul...check.

Acceptance

I'd like to think that I'm a take it or leave it kind of gal. you get what you see and if you don't like it then too bad. But as you grow older you realize there are situations, places, occasions where you have to conform, be accepted whether you like it or not. The workplace can be one of those places and as I'm finding out the dog park is another.

There is a woman who is at the dog park every morning, everyone knows her by name, she is to the dog park what Norm is to Cheers. (Yes I just dated myself). That is if Norm were a 50 year old woman with a teacup yorkie who knits sweaters for dogs. Her dog sits on her lap and never touches the ground. So "Norma" is somewhat of the godfather of the dog park, she bosses other dogs around and tells owners how to handle their dogs however she is loved and if she doesn't like you or your dog, you're not really welcomed. Not wanting my dogs to be shunned, I have tried on several occasions to talk to Norma...no dice. Finally I realized the way into Norma's heart was money. So I broke down and bought a dog sweater that she knitted for my dog. So now before I enter in the morning I have to pull her sweater out and put it on my dog. Sad? yes. Pathetic? maybe. But I have now been accepted and my dogs can play freely. Sigh.

Kids these days

I'm walking around and as I am about to cross the street, I see this girl, in her private school girl uniform, wearing burberry rain boots, holding a coach bag, and a starbucks on her cell phone and I think wow that's what I looked like in high school?

Star Sightings

Where: park
What: I was in the park yesterday and saw two stars shooting what may be the movie of the decade. Once I saw the two stars, my heart went a flutter, as I'm sure yours would too if you saw... Steve Guttenberg and Shannon Elizabeth! My thoughts are Cocoon the Twilight years? Or maybe Three men and a big lady, I mean to hope for another police academy would just be insane wouldn't it? Still I can only imagine with that kind of star power, it's gonna be a winner.

Politician Sighting

Hillary Clinton
Where: by UN
What: She was walking with a small posse during the whole UN meeting thingy, tons of police around the area. She was across the street so I yelled out, "HILLARY!" and she turned and smiled at me and I yelled, "I VOTED FOR OBAMA, SAY HI TO HIM FOR ME" and her smile dropped and she just kept walking...totally rude of her. Like she's not gonna see him?
Just kidding I would never do that...or would I?

Grade:
Looks - A (she looked great)
Attitude - B

Bugs, Birds and Rats...Oh my

So we moved to this crazy bustling city from it's polar opposite, Healdsburg a small wine town in the country. We were fortunate enough to live with my wonderful sister and her husband on a winery surrounded by nature that admittedly scared the living crap out of me when we first got there. Because when I say nature I mean ticks, coyotes, birds, insects, lizards, porcupines etc. things that you don't really encounter in the city. Or at least I didn't encounter living in the city till I moved to NY...
Since moving here I have been eaten alive by bugs. Some of which are mosquito bites and some god only knows what, but the bites swell up to where you look like a diseased freak.
Then there are the rats, which just slightly outweigh my chihuahua, but at least they are outside, strike that, were outside as now we have one in our apartment. Actually it's a mouse, or that's what I'm calling it. I have named him Oliver and I feel he is a country mouse who is exploring the big city and found refuge in our apartment on the 5th floor of an upper east side as Oliver has refined tastes.
Ok so bugs, check. Mouse, check. But last night it went into the realm of ridiculous.
So our chihuahua had gotten sick (probably from eating something delicious off the nyc sidewalks) and had to be taken out multiple times throughout the night. At 4am when my husband took the dogs for the 3rd time, I decided to get a drink from the kitchen. That's when I hear something scurrying about. I immediately become a housewife from the 50's and jump on furniture and look to the floor as I don't want Oliver to touch me. When the scurrying gets louder and I look up and there is something flapping against the ceiling. Screaming I run to the bathroom as I have an irrational fear of anything that can fly or jump at me which includes everything from grasshoppers to butterflies to birds or bats. And I wait in the bathroom till my husband gets home. To which I tell him through a crack in the door that there is a bird or a bat in the house.
Me: Geoff there is a bird or a bat in the house and I'm scared to come out!
Geoff: Big breath, sigh...ok
As if this is a normal occurrence, my brave husband without flinching goes into action to get the bird out of the house. So now I am locked in the bathroom, laughing hysterically with my dog in my arms as I hear him trying to scare the bird out a window by yelling, "blugha blugha blugha." He is chasing the bird around the apartment with a towel trying to capture it...thank god we left the country.

Before the memory fades

As we are leaving Finnegan's wake with our bellies full of great Irish pub food we see a jogger run by leaving a wake of entertained, stunned, laughing pedestrians. In fact a waiter dragged another waiter out of the restaurant just to point out the jogger and as we walked by he said, "that guy has been jogging by for the past 10 years like that." Did I mention it was 40 degrees out and the jogger was wearing a black leotard with a thong back and fishnet stockings? I heart NY.

Publish Post

If Michael Jackson, Cher and Janice Dickenson had a baby...

Then you would have the woman who frequents the dog park. When I first saw her, I'll be honest I was scared because I thought someone had left a Halloween witch mannequin in the park. Then I thought, well I'm going to hell, for having such a thought. Then I realized she has just had too many plastic surgeries as I can't believe she was born this way.

So imagine a sunken face of MJ, a Cher wig (circa if I could turn back time), but the pouty lips of Janice Dickinson. Then put it in a velour track suit and a bedazzled hat and there you have it. But you should never judge a book by it's cover no matter how terrifying the cover because she is very sweet to the dogs. Although she has no dog herself she carries dog toys around with her to bring to the park...or maybe she just always has them with her, who am I to judge.

Star sighting

Duffy

Where: subway
What: just passed by her briefly
Who: you remember duffy, vj for mtv in the late 80's and early 90's? Tried her hand at acting and was in Dumb and Dumber? No? Anyone? Duffy?

Grade:
Looks: A

Standards

So we are on a crowded subway going downtown and across from us sits what I can only imagine is a homeless man. But let me paint the picture, he's in his late 30's to 40's, stained pants, white shirt that he has raised above his belly because he's scratching himself, no shoes, strike that he had taken his shoes off and they were under the seat and the toenails that one would imagine on a hobbit yellow and black, long, dirty. He had a bucket with his belongings and in one hand a to-go cup of ice that he was chewing on and the other a bag of chips that only occasionally made it into his mouth. He was by normal standards filthy, and if you asked the woman who sat next to him she might have called him crude and disgusting as he ate his chips that spilled across his belly and onto the seat and then stuck his hand down his pants to scratch himself. But what I appreciated about his man was that he had standards because sure, he may not be wearing shoes, and he may have been high on crack and covered in chips and god knows what but in his bucket of belongings lay a bottle of purel. Because you never know when you'll need some hand sanitizer.

Star Sighting

Melissa Etheridge

Where: The flight out
What: I passed by her in first class as I went to my coach seat. She commented on how cute my dog was.

Grade:
Looks - D (but who wants to get all gussied up for a long flight?)
Attitude - A (hey she liked my dog)